On Unplanned Cougarhood

How does one become an unplanned cougar? Aren’t woman of a certain age cougars by choice – they prefer young guys? Let’s face it, when a woman’s pushing 50, choosing a man young enough to be her son as spouse is a stretch. Mostly cougars

Cute holding cute

Cute holding cute

are cougars for the fun, not for life. I certainly didn’t plan it.

It was coming to Kuwait that made me discover that young guys over here don’t have any issue with ageism as far as dating older women – in fact, they prefer it. Of course, they just like MILFs, if you know what I mean. Since I was not in the market for temporary sexual relationships, such advances were not appealing to me.

I love motorcycles and had recently acquired my license, prior to going to Kuwait. A friend told me about a bikers group call Kuwait Riders, so I decided I’d check it out. It didn’t have a bike yet, but there was an event at Marina Mall one Friday and off I went to see what I could see.

One Kuwaiti guy I’d met previously starts introducing me around and this cute guy on a sport bike shyly approaches me at one point and introduces himself. We chatted a bit, but his English left a lot to be desired so our chat was brief. He did manage to convey to me that, if I wanted to buy a bike, he could help me.

We get together about a week later to check out a Harley Sportster 883 which I ended up buying. It’s the black one with the flames in the photo. Then he kept calling and coming around



with filafel sandwiches and eventually roses. It became clear to me that he was interested in more than just a riding buddy. I rebuffed him repeatedly insisting on friendship only – until one day he wanted me to meet his family. Well, they were lovely, warm, caring people and he evidently had a wonderful relationship with them. I guess that’s when I started to fall in love with him in spite of my better judgement and the difficulty we had communicating. Our verbal communication was stilted and rather amusing, what with my rudimentary Arabic and his fumbling English. What was really funny was that when we wanted to communicate more complex concepts, we’d use Google translate to help us! I began to love his irrepressible good humour and ability to joke and charm people. He had friends everywhere and girls that liked him, but he chose me!

He was so sweet and insistent that he wore me down. Two and a half months after we first met at Marina Mall he asked me to marry him. He went down on one knee holding a cheap gold metal ring he had bought for the occasion and humbly asked me to marry him. We got married two weeks later at the court in Kuwait. The marriage was not at all romantic.

On my Honda Fury

On my Honda Fury

I had to work that day, but he insisted we had to go. I went grumbling all the way.

“I have to be at work by 10:00!”

“Don’t worry, no problem.”

Yeah, yeah, sure. We get to court at 8 am, the judge, we are informed would be in by 9:00. We sit there in the waiting room. Kuwaiti judge cruises in around 9:30. We’re told we need witnesses. He gets on his phone and starts called people. One biker shows up about 10:00 am. I’m really stewing by then.

“Let’s do it another day!” I cry in frustration.

“Wait, wait. Finish soon.”

We need another witness. He goes out in the hall and charms some unknown guy to stand up with the biker as witness. This guy was also getting married, his shy fiancée didn’t speak any English, so I can’t chat with her. Neither does the unknown guy speak English.

Finally we get to see the judge. He asks me who I am, portentously examines our identification documents stamps and signs some papers then sends us off to the mullah to take our vows. I then have to declare to the mullah that he had given me money to marry him. I even had to sign a paper to that effect. Then we have some Muslem stuff said to us from the Qu’ran and we both say ‘yes’ to something, sign a paper all written in Arabic, and that was that! We were married!

Totally non-romantic. Romance came eight months later in Syria when I got to wear the white dress and be yodeled in the inimitable Arabic way down the aisle and sit on the flower garlanded seat and dance to the amazing Syrian live band’s music. We exchanged vows again and also rings – by then we had some real ones. That was totally romantic.

Do I regret being a cougar? Not at all! Having a cute, funny, charming young guy who worships the ground I walk on (no, I’m not being cliché, he literally does!) around all the time, cheering me up with his jokes, hugging me spontaneously, taking care of me when I’m ill – who wouldn’t want that!


4 responses to “On Unplanned Cougarhood

  1. Thanks for commenting on my post! I’ll say it again: You’re my heroine. In the end, I suppose age is relative – it’s your insides that fall in love with each other, right?

    • You know, I’d never choose this voluntarily. It just happens and it’s like a waterfall that just sweeps you away. Good thing it worked out! We’re so much alike in so many ways – other than he’s a total extrovert and has hundreds of friends and will talk to anybody and I’m more of an introvert and prefer to have just a few close friends. Funny thing is, since we got married he’s become more like me and I’m becoming more like him!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s